This week, Brian Leahy is featured discussing his new found camaraderie with a “stranger groom” in my Kate Parker Wedding series, Involving the Groom. Let’s skip a lengthy introduction since the amazing-ness of this grooms writing speaks for itself. So dive right in and enjoy!
FROM ACROSS THE ROOM
So it doesn’t play out quite like that old song — the one where the guy is alone at a party, meets someone’s eyes across the room and pushes through the sea of bodies to meet somewhere in the middle — but we grooms do tend to find other grooms at social functions. It’s instinctual. In the manliest of ways, we seek out other grooms.
Meeting a fellow groom at The Room bar in Hollywood last night, I realized that grooms have a connection that transcends that of “best buds” or “homies” or “BFFs.” This stranger groom and I shared one strong common bond: we are both knee-deep in these chaotic wed-ventures spearheaded by the two women standing beside us. We’re interconnected in that way.
Amongst other things, we joked about the 10-Second Rule, also known as the Commercial Break Rule: if a bride senses at least a 10-second window (whether you’re driving, showering, shaving, moving furniture or handling smoldering hot metals), they will jump in with a wedding-related topic. Similarly, it happens at nearly every commercial break, between bites at dinner and that precise moment when you climb into bed, pull the covers over you and completely shut down.
“Honey, while I have you here, tell me what you’re thinking for ceremony music.”
The same rule applies to Gmail Chat, Skype or any other internet-based conferencing service. It may take 5X as long to type out the conversation, but no matter. It’s now off of her shoulders and onto your plate.
Stranger groom and I both knew that this chance meeting had somehow rescued the evening. There was a new-found camaraderie. A sense of brotherhood. We laughed. We cried. We clinked glasses of overpriced beer and then carried on with our lives, wishing each other (above anything else) luck. And when my 2E’s took the 40-second walk to the car to discuss whether or not our mothers should wear corsages at the wedding ceremony, I had the strength to nod and smile. Thanks stranger groom.
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