NYC/Westchester County wedding ceremony officiant, Jessie Blum of Eclectic Unions, shares a couple trends that she has been noticing in 2010 wedding ceremonies. This my Kate Parker Wedding ceremony series focuses on the actual tying of the knot, something that can get lost in all of the excitement of the wedding planning. Jessie’s advice lets us focus on what your special day is all about, a union between two people who love each other. Check it out below!
There have been two big trends for 2010 weddings that are beginning to emerge, and they happen to be two of my favorite things to include in wedding ceremonies!
The first, and the biggest, is handfasting. This unity ritual is where the couple literally “tie the knot” during their ceremony! Its origins are in Celtic, Irish, and Pagan traditions, and the wording can be easily adapted to be more or less spiritual, depending on the couple’s belief structure.
Photo courtesy of Cindy Patrick Photography
During the ceremony, just after the rings and before the declaration of marriage, the couple takes hands (right into right and left into left). Their arms form the symbol of infinity, the figure eight – this represents their ultimate unity, that they are truly joining together and becoming two people with one combined soul. For those with an Irish background, I talk a bit about the “anam cara,” Gaelic for “soul mate,” and how when the bride and groom found each other, a great circle was closed – they found the person that completes them, who is true “medicine for their soul” and can heal and support them like no other. I’ve also adapted the popular “Hands” reading into a handfasting explanation, too.
The Celebrant (or a family, friend, or bridal party member) then wraps the couple’s hands with a cord. My couples have gotten so creative with their cord – they’ve had family members make beautiful crocheted and knit ropes, braided and decorated ribbon and drapery cord, and one couple even used boating twine!
After a few words of explanation, the handfasting cord is removed, and the ceremony continues. It’s one of my favorite unity rituals to include, and really connects and grounds the couple to each other.
Another trend I’m seeing that I LOVE is honoring marriage equality in your wedding ceremony.
There are a lot of great ways to do this, to just take a moment to mention that the bride and groom are overjoyed to be sharing their marriage and wedding with their guests today, but hope that they will live in a country where everyone can have the legal right to marry, regardless of the gender of their chosen partner.
The White Knot for Equality is a great organization that encourages people to wear white knots of ribbon, to start conversations and spread the word that everyone should be able to legally tie the knot. You could give out a small basket of these ribbons that your guests could wear at the wedding, and encourage your bridal party and Celebrant to wear one as well – mention it in the program or during the ceremony.
This reading, from the Massachusetts Supreme Court Ruling that made gay marriage legal, is also a great one to include. I did a wedding where the couples had this printed on the back of their table numbers – subtle, but an effective way to make a point:
From “Goodridge Vs. Department of Health” by Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual
support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance
of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations….Without question, civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a “social institution of the highest importance.” … Marriage also
bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal
commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy,
fidelity, and family…. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity,
civil marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.
NYC/Westchester County wedding ceremony officiant, Eclectic Unions, is a member of my Kate Parker Wedding your online wedding resource guide geared towards directing couples to quality vendors based on their price range and state.
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